A CSI Nightshift Vacation
by ParadoxicalOne
Summary: Humor ... SongFic ... Out Of Character. The 6 nightshift CSIs create havoc when there's nothing to do one night. Dialogue is set to the lyrics of the song 'Dizz Knee Land' by Dada. Guess you have to know the song, but... still funny. Did I mention Sophia dies?


_Disclaimer_: I don't own _CSI_ or _Dizz Knee Land_. They belong to CBS and Dada respectively. I'm just borrowing for my own amusement. No disrespect intended to either one.

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**A/**N – I know this is horribly out of character, but what's the fun if we can't have fun every once in a while. Humor, not bodily harm or compromising of integrity, was intended to the chatacters. 

I love the show, and I love the song. Therefore, I thought I'd see what happened when I threw them into a blender together for about 4 minutes.

Let me know what you think…

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**Nightshift CSIs Plan A Vacation**

It was one of those evenings that were hardest on CSIs. Nothing was happening. Not even a trick roll. Quietest night in Las Vegas in years. Everyone was trying to find something to entertain themselves.

Sara had last been seen an hour before heading into the bathroom. Grissom was sitting in his office having a conversation with Ecklie. Nick was in the breakroom alone, reading a magazine. Catherine was in the garage flirting with one of the newest interns. Greg had called in saying he needed to clear up a few things and would be late. Warrick said he was going out to pick up some coffee and donuts for everyone.

Greg scampered into the breakroom and tossed a couple of bags into the corner of the room. He spouted, "I just ran away from home." Bouncing up on a chair, he added, "Now, I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Staring at his scraped up hands, Nick adjusted the bandage on his head. Everyone knew he did not like the new paint job on the car. He mumbled somberly, "I just crashed my car again." Nodding his head, he looked up at Greg standing on the chair. "Now, I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Wearing a ski mask and all black clothing, Warrick sprinted through the door and skidded to a stop, throwing a sack on the table and glancing over his shoulder. He whispered, "I just robbed a grocery store." He holstered his gun and chuckled, "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Grissom walked into the breakroom eying the other three quizzically. He asserted, "I just flipped off President George." They all glanced out into the hallway to watch Ecklie walk by with a distraught look on his face. He was carrying a picture of himself shaking hands with President Bush. Grissom turned back to look at the other three men. A smile spread across his face. "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

All four men shared a knowing smirk. They said in unison, "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Like a bunch of fools they start dancing around the room. They were laughing and singing to their own brand of music around the table.

Sara staggered into the breakroom. Through her fuzzy haze she started dancing with the men before she collapsed onto the floor. Alcohol was sloshing out of the open bottle in her hands as she handed it to Grissom. She slurred, "I just tossed a 5th of gin." She pulled herself up from the floor and grabbed the bottle back. "Now, I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Catherine limped into the breakroom. Her clothes were torn while her arms were hidden behind her back. Winking at Catherine and zipping up his pants, the intern walked by with a very satisfied look on his face. She declared, "I just got cuffed again." She stuck out her tongue at the rest of the group. "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Together, they all screamed, "Yeeeaah…"

Dancing resumed. Grissom grabbed Sara in her drunken stupor and started swinging her around the room. Still wearing the mask, Warrick pulled a still cuffed Catherine and threw her up over his shoulders and started spinning in place. Nick grabbed Greg's arm and started showing Greg how to do-si-do.

They all unholtered their guns and shot into the ceiling of the breakroom until all the bullets were expended. With contented grins on their faces, they all started to reload.

Sara threw in another clip first and pulled off a couple of shots into the darkness of the ballistics lab. She garbled her words almost inaudibly, "Shot my gun into the night." Sara pulled herself flat onto the table trying to get to her bottle of alcohol perched on the other end. "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Blood came pouring out from under the door of the closet in the lab. They all giggled, knowing what had happened. Together, they snickered, "Oooohhhh…"

More dancing and singing and laughing. It was a grand time in the crime lab that night. Nick took advantage of the still cuffed Catherine and pinned her up against a wall. Warrick started throwing money up in the air while Greg was trying to catch it in his mouth.

Grissom ran over to the door and opened it expectantly. He does love a dead body. With a Cheshire gin, he turned around and joked, "I just saw a good man die." He pulled the door more open and stepped out of the way so that everyone could see in the closet. Sophia was slipping around on all of the blood that had poured out of her chest. Grissom looked down at her pitifully. "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

Sophia looked up with sadness in her eyes. They could all see her eyes pleading for help. She gasped, "Come on…"

Greg came in and kicked her once in the side. He spewed, "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee La-a-a-a-and…" With that, he slammed the door on her, hitting her hard on the head.

Everyone else looked upset. They all wanted their turn at smashing the door on Sophia. So, each one went over opened the door and struck her on the head with it as they slammed it shut. "Hey!" Sophia shouted when the last one of them had finished shutting the door. They all knew it was the last time they'd see her again.

A little hush fell over the group as they started to consider other aspects of their life. The moment had to be too good to be true, right? Everything had been so awesome for each of them in this one evening.

Warrick walked back into the breakroom. He was thinking back to old times when he was a kid. Remembering a time he was caught running a poker game in the boy's bathroom, he said somberly, "Kicked my ass outta school."

Catherine looked over at him. She understood how it felt to be mistreated. She relived a moment she got kicked out of a strip club in nothing but her underwear. "Rolled me out into the streets."

Nick thought back to the time back in Texas where he was caught in the stall with his horse. His youngest sister had never let him live that down. "Hitched a ride on Monkey's back."

Sara walked back in thinking of the time she tried to leave Las Vegas. Instead of going back to San Francisco, she thought of the time she almost drove into a canyon instead. "Headed west into the black."

Grissom was never one to tell people about himself. He just looked excited this time and spewed, "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…" His grin was spreading around the room again. He had pulled them out of their memories.

Greg looked over and joined his boss in the happiness. He jumped up on the table and started playing air guitar. He fell off one end. Lying on his back, laughing like a moron, he choked, "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee Land…"

High-fives around the room. They started screaming in unison, "Yeah, Yeah…"

Catherine frowned as she looked around the room. Realizing she could not get involved in high-fives in her predicament, she just shouted, "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee La-a-a-a-and…" Then, she started running around like a bull hitting people in the stomach with her head.

Grissom pulled off his badge. He sat it on the table and looked at it for a moment before he gave it two middle-finger salutes. "Ooooooo…"

Sara tried to shove her badge into the neck of the bottle. Unable to fit it in, she laid it on the table, pulled out her gun and unloaded the rest of her clip into it. "I'm goin' to Dizz Knee La-a-a-a-and…"

Nick raised his arms in victory. Then, he did a touchdown dance and he used his badge as a pseudo-football and spiked it on the floor. "Yeah…"

Greg ripped Catherine's badge off her pants with his teeth. She leaned over and did the same for him. They both spit the badges onto the floor. Greg was far too pleased as he cooed, "Yeah…"

Warrick swung his badge around by the chain until it flew off his finger and smacked the wall. "Yeah…"

Grissom pulled the CSI Tahoe keys out of his pocket on the way out. The team strode happily from the room and walked out the door of the lab leaving it far behind. Arm in arm, they walked without looking back.

Grissom pulled up into the driver's side with his middle finger raised at the building. Greg carried his bags with him and threw them into the back, then crawled in and curled up for a long ride. Sara gulped the rest of the bottle of alcohol and threw the bottle over her shoulder before staggering into the passenger seat. Warrick started shoving dollar bills into Catherine's underwear as he fell into the Tahoe backset on top of her. Nick threw his bandages at his smashed up car and approached the Tahoe. He pushed Sara into Grissom and got in beside her.

They drove off into the sunrise…

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The End. 


End file.
